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I learnt in the middle of last night that my Grandma had passed away. It was certainly not unexpected – she was 91 after all, and has been poorly for a long time. She was the last survivor of a generation in my family the like of which I don’t think we will ever see again.
She was the daughter of Lithuanian Jewish immigrants (I am, in fact, of 100% Eastern European origin, even 3 generations later) who arrived in the country 100 years ago. Her dad, my great granddad, set up a butchers shop. She survived the war – and the enforced separation from my granddad – and went on to raise four boys. She also lost two sons.
Her brand of matriarchal charisma, mixed with a inexhaustible doses of kindness, humour and generosity set her apart as a lady.
Both my grandma and my mum’s mum, my Nanny, loved nothing more than cooking for their families. A Jewish kitchen is always an open one, no matter what the circumstances, and both revelled in having the whole family together on a Friday night for a Sabbath meal and on high holidays and festivals too. Even though I am a non-believing Jew, it is a source of great pleasure that my own mum has continued the tradition and Archie’s Friday night meal at my parents’ house is undoubtedly one of his highlights of the week.
Coming from relative poverty, the cooking of my grandparents’ generation involved lots of cheap cuts of meat, cooked slowly, and copious amounts of fat and salt. This probably explains the high incidence of heart disease in the community!
Cigerashed Potato (fried onions and mashed potato) was a meal in itself, and remains one of my favourite comfort foods to this day. My grandma made great “kichels” (Jewish biscuits), wonderful chopped liver, melting slow cooked beef brisket and, needless to say, a marvellous chicken soup. Both my Grandma and my Nanny used to deliberately burn the onions in a Friday roast. Odd as it may sound, these onions were always the first things to be eaten and were forever fought over. The more burnt the better.
More than anything, my grandma’s food culture – and that of my Nanny too – taught me all about the value of getting everyone round a table at any and every possible opportunity. These events marked me as a child for their food, for their raucousness, for their generosity of spirit – and of course their rucks too! All par for the course in a large family…
For me, food is family and family is food – and no-one can have personified this better than my grandma. Sadly her advanced dementia meant that she was not able to get to “know” Archie in the true sense. But it is testament to her – and all those from her generation – that their legacy will live on long after their passing, every time we all sit round a table together or set foot in the kitchen. Indeed, one of my most prized possessions in my kitchen remains her orange Le Creuset casserole dish. It must be at least 30 years old, probably way more, and has the markings of a dish which has cooked many a delicious stew.
Archie can be seen cooking with it in our Chicken Hotpot video. He may have barely known her, and he certainly cannot realise it, but the influence of this remarkable lady – and those of her generation – outlives their own lifetime and will continue to mark our own lives for years to come.
Sorry to hear about your Grandma, what a lovely tribute though & good memories to have of her.
What wonderful memories you have of both your Granma & your Nanny, you have written a really beautiful tribute you should feel very proud, I know your Granma would have been really blessed to have known that she impacted your life in such a profond way.
My sincere heartfelt condolenses to you and your family Nck.
Lots of Love
Inge
Sorry to hear the news. My condolences to your family.
Sorry to hear about your grandma. But, what a wonderful tribute you have left here. My gran too has dementia and I know only too well the pain it brings. Like you however the memories of her years of cooking and baking are what I will always take forward. Big hugs to you.
She sounds amazing and its lovely to hear about her, thanks for sharing a little of her life with us. My grandma is 90 and suffering with the cruelness of dementia, its a shame these great women and men suffer this.
Glad her cooking lives on in you and Archie. My thoughts are with you all.
Sorry to hear your sad news. Losing your granny, no matter how old is really tough. The memories you have of her are wonderful, joyous and warm – they’ll never fade.
I too keep my granny’s memory alive in the kitchen – I like you have her orange le creseut. I’ve got her blue Spode crockery and endless recipes in her neat writing. It means so much and always will.
Take care
Katie x
What a lovely tribute to what sounds like a wonderful lady. You were truly blessed to have grown up with such an inspirational woman in the family.
But as you say, in the family traditions, and even in the food you eat and the utensils you use, she lives on.
Sue xx
I'm so sorry to hear the news Nick, she sounds wonderful. How lovely though that she lives on in your memories through food – fried onion and mash is indeed one of the finest comfort foods known to man! It's great that you've got her cooking pot too – any chance we can have a video of you whipping up some traditional Eastern Europeamn fayre with Archie?
What a wonderful tribute to your Grandma Nick, and a great picture you paint of family life. And now you are continuing and passing on all the qualities she showed you. I feel lucky that I also have an ancient orange Le Creuset casserole dish that I cook your Chicken Hotpot dish in (one of my favourite recipes and often repeated.)
She'll be looking over your shoulder every time you – or Archie – use yours.
You have been truly eloquent in your tribute. You will continue to miss her, but it is better that she didn't deteriorate even further in her last days.
I suspect that the Le Creuset may be around forty years old. My sister-in-law was married in 1969. She certainly had a large casserole like that. I think that they were popular in the early 70s. I chose something less practical.
What a wonderful tribute to your Grandma Nick, and a great picture you paint of family life. And now you are continuing and passing on all the qualities she showed you. I feel lucky that I also have an ancient orange Le Creuset casserole dish that I cook your Chicken Hotpot dish in (one of my favourite recipes and often repeated.)
A wonderful tribute, to a remarkable lady! She sounded like she had such an amazing influence on you, and the way you describe your family meals is very touching, and something I wish more families did together, eat as a whole family. You are already making sure that continues within your family and I am sure she was very proud of you.
Lots of love Jodi x
Nick, very sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandma. What a shame that she never got to know how inspirational you have been to so many people, but I am sure that she knew what a wonderful grandson she had.
What a lovely tribute to your Grandma, I'm sure she was very proud of you. I had a similar experience with mine who passed away when Ted was six months old, she was 89 and had had dementia too. Although she only met him once and wasn't on her best form that day, her face did light up whenever she talked about him or saw new pictures. We also have the same legacy of handed down crockery – including would you believe, an oval orange Le Creuset!
I'm sure you'll have lots of wonderful stories to share with Archie when he is bigger.
Such a touching tribute Nick. Sounds like Lily was a wonderful woman and I loved reading this window into her (and your) world. I couldn't agree more about the family meal times – no matter how much shouting may go on, it's an essential part of the day. Now, about that recipe for chicken soup….. xx
So sorry to hear about your loss.
What a wonderful tribute and what wonderful memories.
Do you have the recipe for kichels??? I would love to have it.
the best and most accurate tribute to Mum/Grandma–love Dave x
ps how come you nicked the Le Cruesset without asking me!!!!! xxx
Hi Nick,
Your dad sent this tribute to me. Lily and my Mother Annie were first cousins. I remember well that mashed potato and fried onions . I am not sure if it was a family recipe [ I have several] a Lithuanian recipe or something else. Your tribute was wonderful and I am sure she is up there kvelling with Ronnie.
I lost my nanna earlier in the year. She was 96. Women of that generation are indeed inspirational and wonderful, and even though we know they're not going to be around for ever, their loss is huge. I came across your site through the big lunch. hope you are ok. x
Nick
Your grandmother did a good job. What more could she have wanted to achieve than to be remember by her grandchild in such a beautiful way. May my grandchildren remember me that way! (if my sons ever give me any!!!)
Frankie x